Re: Re: David’s Guidance

[Bigfeet E]

@jldy wrote:

Bigfeet. I do not know why you deleted your last post as I read it and found it very touching and truthful. You are searching; do not stop looking!

There are times you have to stop looking, have to close doors … as it is not such experienced as doors, more like breaches in the hull.
Breaches made by cliffs that ripped it open, due to ones own bad steering of the ship. If you don’t plug the breach, soon the ship will be flooded and sucked under.
Call it a survivalmechanism, one gets the oppertunity to contemplate, recalibrate in order to live another day without to many bruises.
James Brown made a lyric about it : “A man has to go back to the crossroads, wich where he found himself.”
Generally spoken, i just panicked. I was overtaken by :

1. the shadow of lust, the possebility of making love to a beautifull woman & to recieve the same in return. All just a projection based on an illusion that has no way of manifestation in an honorable manner.
2. the shadow of shame/guilt, wich was born in the aftermath of letting myself go following the unfruitfull illusion of hunger.
3. the shadow of untruthfullness, a bit of the same as point 2, but i felt no longer being tru with myself and what i had said in the previous post, and wanted it deleted untill i came back in to the light with what i did say.
4. the shadow of selfpity, the numbed drenched feeling of unworthyness, unableness, powerlesness, failure.
5. the shadow of stubborness, anger/rage towards myself for loosing control again to that same old circular foolishness, so worn out it’s has become a trench instead of a path.

And probably a couple more of wich i can’t think on right now, but i think you get the gist … untill room was clear again for some light of acceptance/forgiveness.
Thanx for the interest anyway.

@J/D wrote:

OK. How are we with this? OK. How about Love? “What?” you ask. We say, “Go find the meaning and report to us.”

Ah well , i’ll give another shot.
Forgive me that i won’t be as elaborate as previously, but i’m still a bit weak in the knees.
I’m sure you saw what went on, but hey, that’s what spineless idiots do from time to time, playing the what-if game wich bare no fruits.
Thank you for the ‘nameless reminder post’ anyway … hah cheeky, but i had this allready in conclusive perspective sort of.

So love, yes …
Love to me is only worth in it’s unconditional expression, in whatever form it may be manifested.
So my goal is to follow it in that direction the best way i can, with all my falls and standing-up-again’s, as possible.
Going with the flow isn’t easy when one lost touch with it, so the flow is the basic of love & life to focus myself upon.

When speaking in ways of romance and sensuality/sexuality i feel it can not be any different. So my search for my ‘sync’ has to be put on a hold until a simular lovely one presents herself on my path.
As in the matter of recognition i think i’ve required a certain amount of capability with the method of ‘reading’ people.

On the other hand i feel less confident on finding it anymore. Wich makes me wanna live like it is a fairly closed chapter, ending in mineur without having started yet.
But i rather just stick it in my inside pocket for a later day when something ‘could’ happen. Otherwise it’ll keep buggin me & steal me of focus and energy to much than i care for… for now.
No garanties offcourse , i understand, just gotta rebuild faith & clear the channels again.

The reading of ppl does not fare that well when everybody wants to mask their hearts & are holders of deception.
It’s becoming obvious and quit a turn off for me. The game has bin compremised to much with unspoken rules of roleplaying that makes things unnecessarily complicated & unattractive for my taste.
Hell, i’ve bin even succumbed by it myself & makes me create my own dumbness & unease in the matter. I guess most of us still need to grow in there.

Do you believe you can just drop anchor till waves rush over and crush your spirit? How does this serve? Does it? Do you see you are able to pitch, yet find balance amidst storms if you reel in anchors, set sail while exhibiting care not to rock too much?

How bout just balancing the storm without having to ride it, seeing the storm is illusion created, centered rising / uncreate the storm and enjoy the bliss.
What’s the point to keep riding the same rollercoaster for a short thrill ? Fun ? Maybe for a while yeah, but then what ? A different rollercoaster ? Where does it end , looking for unending thrills that have only imaginaire winners and losers ? Does one not get tired of this game? I do.

Wich brings me to the story the All/One wanted to create diversity to enlive all that can be. And so it is and here we are. Apparantly ‘IT’ (for a lack of better term) wants now this game here to end aswell.
When we, the diverse ones, see the ‘joy of drama’ – as you’ve presented it – has worn out it’s welcome, like a child loosing interest in its toy, its attention grows further to ascend joy to its original state of Oneness. Then is this not the way to go ? Forget about the storm, embrace the flow …? And taking this back to every-day-level-on-earth to live in a more harmonious way, with understanding and being in the loop ? Or would that undo the thrill of challenge and become boring aswell ?

Bunch of questions that have one focal point, i know.
Has this, when you speak of mixing water with oil (wich i presumed meaning mixing higher & lower consiousness) come into place with what i am trying to do, and does not work ?
I know i’m trying to find to see the middle path in my love-question on all levels. I must bring it together, for i don’t want to choose one or the other. It doesn’t make sence.
The world is filled with failed marriages and broken compagnonships. And i don’t want to end up in that position aswell. I grew up in one such.

I leave this for now.
With warm regards,
Erik.