This is Dorlie
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Joanie and all others for your love and positive engery, I can FINALLY FEEL it!
Some progress, I went to psychiatrist yesterday and I started a new medication, Pristiq, lets see if we can be friends for a while.
I also saw a therapist. I can tell she is wise and very loving and she gave me a big hug at the end of the session.
She told me I am carrying “helplessness” with me since I was a child. I belive this is true. I also know you are right, I need my energy to “fix” heal myself, my soul and let my dad take his own path, no matter how much it hurts him.
What really scares me is that my father is scared. He is scared to suffer, to be left in a bed debilitated and waiting to die when his Parkinson’s continues, as it will. I will work on my relationship with my father and my letting go of responsibility to his happiness in therapy because it drains me as my sister helped me to understand. As of now I must rest and take a break from all draining and negative energies, which includes my dear papito.
Today I have had several hours of more openness in my mind and heart, i hope it lasts but need to also accept the disease passing through. As of now this has been a really great break from the darkness.
A school friend texted me today and told me she will recommend me for the next openning at the Therapeutic Miccosukee Treatment Center. I would LOVE that and have always felt an affinity to Native American people, my sister and I are about 1/18th Cheyenne 😉
We will see what happens. I can see help has been flowing toward me in so many ways, inlaws inviting me over, a bit of humor I had yesterday, my cat coming and sleeping/purring on my chest, my friends/family calling, my sister forcing me off my sofa and onto the balcony, my awesome husbands hugs, and YOU!!! Thank you so much for your time, I look so forward to becoming more open and healthy!
Lots of LOOOVE!
Dorlie
