Re: Re: David’s Guidance

[Bigfeet E]

Dear master Yeshua & all who bare whitness to my words,

I feel you can pluck the right strings that gives me the chance to unwind some greaves & stresspoints.
It’s a prerogative to know having some helpfull attention recieved.
Yeah Joanie, that’s you included for a great deal ! If it werent for you, this would not be possible at this point in time, so your skills are to be praised once more.

Let me try explain my view why forgiveness is not being done as you asked.
Where do i start, where is the beginning …
It is not so much i can not forgive myself nor others, i can. But it is a loophole that i keep generating over time . Bit difficult to roll out here as summerising all influences is somewhat scattered.
Me thinks it builds up from the point of not being able to be myself, explore myself, that i keep losing overview of myself, dependantly from what angle it is i wish to be at the given moment. Much of that is the knowledge that it is me generating unsuccesfulnes. Restrictiveness is to be delt with on just about everything that paves my path. All things considered it doesn’t feel like i am the creator of my path & all there is to choose is the path of least resistance.

Much of that comes down to the teachings of Lao Tse’s not doing. That seems to be the point where i go & leave. The stress comes on a daily basis, from my body, my (useless)work, my environment. And i do deal with it as long as i can hold on, but when the lemon is squized out, it has no more juice to gives, y’know. More pressure then brings the teeth out & the wounded animal becomes selfdefensive.

For long time i only seem to trying build more overall stamina & found ways to do this , even think i’ve fairly grown in that department. Apparantly still not enough. Mastering this balance between hard & soft is a continuing walk on the rope…Always seeking alternative ways to implement … Gonna stop babbling bout this. It doesnt really come out the way i wanna put it & it sounds i’m looking for excuses.

I agree i should be more socialy invested, only connection has its failures in most cases. Kinda leaves me feeling alone more then all One. I feel closer to animals then people much times. They have the gift of being more genuine in their respect then humans potential. And where it not for my own struggle with animal desires, i guess my life would have bin much easier in the sexual department. Even writing this word down does not come without uneasyness. Yeah, big drama-karma there. No answers realised yet, and a large stressbuilder to for that matter, when not channeled for own energycontinuims.

For the matter of duality within consious out-of-body experiences, i rose the question because it is what other ppl report in their travels, not so much my own cuz i’ve had none of those experiences that i can recall whatsoever. I mean like, o i can see my body lying there & i’m floating here & all that. But what i was refering to was that ppl exactly recall fighting within 3D environments or connecting 4D (?) realms where they even encounter other souls who are also there – astral traveling – wich with whome they afterwards, back in 3D reality, can concur the event being taken place.
Wich brings me to a need for further clarification of duality concerning struggle, battle instead of harmony between opposite ‘parties’.

Furtheron i sure would like to wake up out of dreamstate when in sleepingmode into the realm of possibility . Think thats gonna be a tough nut to crack, so pls forgive me if it doesn’t work just yet.
Must admit it sounds very exciting … Only thing that kinda keeps me on my toes is the message i clearly found in the teachings of Shri Mataji, wich i still hold dearly, is that she didn’t approve of this sort of activities. Maybe she holds different views about this now ? The whole matter reminds me of shamanistic ways like for example Don Juan from the books of Carlos Castaneda…

I must admit i still have difficulties in viewing Light as discribed in many contexts. I can only imagine in how it is percieved in many ways. I presume or understand the way is very different from our daily 5 sences, yet i believe i’ve come close in some occasions in using the 6th sence, although very briefly.

…

Anyway, i’m happy to report that i’m feeling better again then when i posted my previous post and weeped some waste out of my heart wich clearly helped the process. Let’s hope i don’t slip into that same groove of the old LP again.

Many many times many thanks for all the trouble that’s bin made in my account.
Sweet surrender, bliss & love.

Bigfeet, refreshed. 😉