Echo, the implication of eliminating the Separate Self (or ego) was not that one would lose individual consciousness and be nobody, but instead would move from a self-centered/self-interest perspective to having universal consciousness that’s in alignment, awareness and of service to the whole. Also, it’s said that all will return to source and individuals would become part (or memories) of the collective consciousness of oneness. Perhaps that is already the case, for we are all from one and are one. So I guess there is no way to be nobody or even somebody. Darn, I’m getting things confused, oh well, it’s all so mindboggling and wonderful.
My only response to your other questions, is that I sure do love how profound they are, and would just suggest taking a deep breath and following your heart or instinct on what seems best.