Questions..

[echo]

I have a few questions. I’ve been attempting to reconstruct a lot of my thinking patterns, a shift from the negative to a neutral spectrum and eventually something positive. Along the way I’ve discovered that I’ve spent most of my life stewing in my own, self imposed, madness. The best part is, I’m only twenty, so I haven’t been stewing for that long. but recently I’ve been exposed to a strange sort of phenomenon, basically it has shown me that I’ve been unprepared for what I’m claiming to change. It’s like a part of my consciousness has integrated itself into my reality where I can sense it, for better or for worse.

It’s strange, This is something I should be writing in a journal, I know, but I want to share. This phenomenon has acted as a source of insight, but as time progressed things changed. Eventually I began to feel as if it disagreed with me, perhaps I wasn’t being true to myself. You see, I made promises, to better my life and take care of my person. I figured if I wanted to enlighten my mind, surely my body must be taken care of as well. Maybe it was my lack of discipline or how I chose not to educate myself sooner. Eventually, this phenomenon had taken on the form of a tell tale heart, reminding me of all the poor choices I’ve made, until I couldn’t handle it any longer. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I lost my temper. I felt angry because a part of me felt as if it were an open book, I felt followed, watched, paranoid to say the least. Maybe I was showing myself (or reminding myself) how I perceive who I am in relation to the world as I see it, I don’t know. It was unattractive to be blunt, I was unsatisfied with the life I’ve experienced thus far, you know. But the worst part was I blamed outside forces. I would like to share the outcome of what happened as a result, but that’s not what’s important.

How many chances do you have to gain favor of outside help before they leave you behind?
Is it ignorant to be impatient with oneself?
How far will basic awareness take us if we are uneducated and don’t practice?
How long do I have before this phenomenon leaves me for good?
Is it wrong to desire strength?

idk, sometimes i feel unstable in my mind, and it causes me grief. I want to promote joy and peace, but the sad irony is that I don’t experience it in my own life. How can I support such a dream when I don’t understand how to maintain it within my own family. I feel so overwhelmed. I’m wondering if what I do will only hinder what good people hope for, let alone hurt my home. Due to this lack of mental stability I’ve been diagnosed with schizophreniform disorder so I’ve been looking into a very small bit of psychology. It’s strange waking up to a world with so many strange happenings… It’s hard enough to make a change in your life without all sorts of people trying to sell you their drugs or trying to convince you to think like them.

[Syme]

Echo,

Geez, it’s been awhile………

Hold on brother, I am sure the insights, comprehension, discernment, divination, intuition, observation, perception, perceptivity, understanding, vision, wisdom, will be flowing thick and fast soon. (don’t you just love Thesaurus online!)

Thats what we are here for.

Syme

[Zingdad]

Hello echo

May I see if I understand you correctly. You say you have recently been exposed to a strange phenomenon. It seems to be something or someone within you that is communicating with you. It seems to be letting you know that your choices for your life are not compatible with the outcomes you desire. Sort of like saying “I want to go to New York” and then hopping on a flight to Moskow. This inner voice is telling you you are not on the right track. It seems to also be willing to give you guidance and direction and to even be willing to call you out on choices that it feels are not serving you. And now you are asking questions about this phenomenon.

Echo, may I say that this “phenomenon” sounds very much, to me, like your “inner-self” communicating and guiding you. If I am not wrong then this is you truest self. The self that knows who and what you really are. It is making itself felt and known to you in a bid to assist you, to guide you and to help you to awaken.

IF this is so then this is very good news indeed. IF this is what it is then I very much believe the answers to your questions are as follows:

@echo wrote:

How many chances do you have to gain favour of outside help before they leave you behind?

The answer is “as many as you need”. Because this is not “outside help”. This is you helping yourself. And that aspect of you will never give up on you. It is going to extreme effort to reach out to you and to have you be aware of it. It will not ever give up on you. You can choose to work with it or against it. If you go with it you will find healing and inner-peace. if you fight it you will make yourself ill. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Going against the will of your own higher self ALWAYS results in inner conflict because that is exactly what it is: inner conflict!

@echo wrote:

Is it ignorant to be impatient with oneself?

If it is then probably we are all guilty of ignorance. We all want what we want NOW. But being aware that you are being impatient is probably the first step. Learn to meditate. If there is only one piece of advice I could give you it is that: learn to meditate. Then, when you feel you are lost or confused or in pain or being impatient with yourself you can go inside and find peace. A tranquil mind is a mind that is open to truly HEARING what the soul-self is trying to share.

@echo wrote:

How far will basic awareness take us if we are uneducated and don’t practice?

Nowhere. You see, echo, you create your reality with two thing: Intention and Attention. So you ask “how far” well if you don’t know where you want to be then you aren’t going anywhere. So that’s the first thing. You MUST decide what it is that you want to achieve. Where do you want to be? What is it that you desire. Think on this carefully. Don’t answer the first thought that leaps to mind. Be sure of what your desired intention is. Then write it down. Don’t write a 10 page essay – write bullet points. The fewer, the simpler, the better. You must be very clear in this, your statement of intent. Cover all the main areas: Physical, mental, spiritual, emotional. State what it is you believe is the very highest good that you can desire for yourself. THAT is your intent. Now you need to give it your ATTENTION. This is where you look at that paper every day. You visualise all those things coming to yourself. You be quiet and listen, contemplate and meditate. And then you follow your heart and your truth towards those things. But if you sit around doing nothing don’t expect the universe to drop these things in your lap. Be prepared to change the way you think and act so that these things can manifest in your life. And be prepared to get them. Cease negative thought about yourself and your experiences and outcomes by re-languaging these thoughts positively. Be the person you need to be to get what you desire.

And LISTEN to your inner-self.

@echo wrote:

How long do I have before this phenomenon leaves me for good?

It’ll never “go away” as it is inside you and a part of you. But, I’m not sure, it might be prepared to go quiet on you if you should show unequivocally that you no longer desire it to be there. If you tell it to shut up enough. If you refuse to listen to it enough. I don’t know. The answer, I guess, is whatever is the most loving thing it can do. Like maybe it will just stay because that is loving. Or maybe it will go quiet because the most loving thing is for you to see what it is like to again be without. I don’t know. But I don’t think this is relevant. Signal to this soul-self aspect of yourself that you want it to stay – and it will. Align yourself with it and it will become more and more “you” and less and less “other”. Sit quietly and relax your body. Relax every single muscle sequentially from your toes up to your scalp. When you are completely relaxed and comfortable, inside your own mind, TALK to this being. Ask it to show you who it really is. With feelings. And then trust what you feel. Feel out who this is. See is you get a “yes” feeling about this being or a “no” feeling. If you get a Positive feeling then tell it you want it to reveal itself to you more and more. In inspirations, in synchronicities. However it can. Tell it you want to know it and learn to love and trust it.

See how that goes.

@echo wrote:

Is it wrong to desire strength?

No. There is nothing that is inherently right or wrong. There are only choices that serve you and take you where you want to be and choices that don’t serve you and take you away from where you want to be.

Strength is good. But what do you want this strength FOR? That is my question. If you desire strength of will and strength of character so that you stay the course and keep doing what your inner compass tells you is right then obviously that is good and desirable. If you want strength so that you can be more powerful than others so that your will can hold sway over others then that is going to cause you pain. It’s not the strength that is at fault – it is the intention. So again: intention and attention.

You say something quite deep. You say:
@echo wrote:

I want to promote joy and peace, but the sad irony is that I don’t experience it in my own life.

My friend this is exactly the crux of the thing. Give to others what you most desire. If you want joy and peace go and make someone else’ life a little more joyful and peaceful. Universal laws will be on your side. You will find joy and peace by giving it to another.

And in the mean time… be kind and gentle to yourself. Treat your body with the greatest love and respect. Discipline your mind to think positive thoughts. Express to others around you the love, kindness and forgiveness that you would desire them to express to you.

I wish you joy in your life and peace in your heart.

[Syme]

You see Echo,

And I would say this to many people on this forum that read but do not post – Let go of the fear and if you feel it is right to ask, then do it. There are many like minds on this forum. We are here to assist.

Syme

[echo]

@syme wrote:

Hold on brother, I am sure the insights, comprehension, discernment, divination, intuition, observation, perception, perceptivity, understanding, vision, wisdom, will be flowing thick and fast soon. (don’t you just love Thesaurus online!)

😀 Yes I do, I use it all the time.

Thanks Zingdad and Syme for posting such a prompt response and thank you Zingdad for responding so extensively. I respect you for taking the time to hear me out and appreciate the fact that you addressed each question. I will have to take time, or give attention to what you suggested, meditation being my main focus. The intention is to be able to answer my own questions so that I may be able to reach beyond my own suffering. By doing this I can help other people? Is that the idea, the less of a drag you are, the greater the help? Sounds reasonable…

[Zingdad]

@echo wrote:

The intention is to be able to answer my own questions so that I may be able to reach beyond my own suffering. By doing this I can help other people? Is that the idea, the less of a drag you are, the greater the help? Sounds reasonable…

I think it goes further than that, echo. What I have come to see is that your darkest most painful stuff is precisely that which will be transformed into your brightest jewels. Now these might sound like pretty words but I have seen this to be true over and over again. Your current difficulties are almost certainly due to some deeper trauma. But the idea is not to cut the trauma out… to just let it go. No, the idea is to come to understand that these are some of your most precious experiences of all. They will hold great value for you. Through understanding them and dealing with them you will unlock amazing things for yourself. And you will have MUCH to give others as a result of these processes. So take heart my friend. Stay with the path. You will still discover your true magnificence.

[opalescent]

Dear echo, journals can only do so much, and can only hold so much of our pain. I can point to a few of mine that have fallen apart from taking the brunt of my … processing. In the living is life, and in acknowledging fear is courage, so I’m glad you have written this. I cannot add much more to Zingdad’s cogent replies and Syme’s encouragement to release fear further, except this pearl that landed in my inbox the other day, a bit from a flyer for one of Barbara Marciniak’s channelings that a friend forwarded to me:

“There are rules to the game of life in every reality, and the sooner you figure things out, the easier it will be to navigate the turbulent times. In the midst of all the turmoil, one certainty does prevail: human consciousness will be compelled to grow and evolve in fantastic leaps and bounds throughout the remainder of the nanosecond. Be wise, be aware and be prepared. The natural propensity of consciousness is to seek quality of life, and the natural propensity of the multiverse – always, always, always – is to seek a positive outcome.”

You are stronger — and more deeply loved — than you might at this moment know. Just go with it, brother. The truth of your being will reveal itself. Help is always at hand, most of the time disguised in surprising ways.

[jamwolfsky]

The Ego is clever and will use every trick to survive!
If you say for instance I want to go with the flow, acknowledge the divine “I am” and release the Ego tension, the ego might say “very good idea my friend I will do everything I can to help you, you can count on me, this is the curriculum you should follow, first let’s start meditation fom Zero and chant a few mantras and gradually we will get there step by step.”. Before you have time to release you are already in the hands of your own deceiver transmuted into a tyrant who will remind you of your failure and insist on saying you haven’t followed the required discipline . If you wish you might materialise this tyrant into a Guru of your choice revered in large and not so large communities.
This is what Krishnamurti was going on about when he took the piss out of sincere seakers indulging in transcendental meditaton for years in India only to get stuck in an Ego trip of the higher self which was nothing else than the super Ego in disguise . Rimpoche Trungpa called that spiritual materialism.
Meditation is then adding another problem to our brain racking split distractions with the blessings of our Ego .
This is why Krishnamurti insisted on awareness. Some call it consciousness or cognescence.

Make it simple, awareness is simply observing in your natural state of knowinness which requires no effort because It just Is a natural quality of the mind . I am aware I feel confused …this is enough breath in breath out you might feel peaceful the next breath. I am aware I am furious breath in breath out.I am aware I feel peaceful for once hearing the birds singing breath in breath out . This is meditation, simply being aware. What you might add after awareness is the Ego coming through the back door saying “Yes cool Echo I knew you would be aware one day, this is what I have been trying to say for so long just be aware , now let’s continue this meditation together” Ok the is Ego back , don’t fight it just be aware of its existence, eventually you will recognize these are all your creations Ego, projections of the mind and see divinity in all..

But make it simple to begin with. If you have a complicated knot you have to start with simple undoings. So a few minutes of awareness a day could be the beginning of major divine unraveling.
[youtube:20it3c4v]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tIBYxed16s[/youtube:20it3c4v]

[Will]

…that is a very good description Jamwolfsky…

…at another board we were discussing the ego… many were saying that the ego needed to be dissolved… that ascension was only possible with the destruction of the ego…

…I alone came to the defense of the ego saying that it was originally gifted to us as a tool… and that it just got out of control… threatening it with demise only makes it fight harder (and you also) and leads to incompleteness and exhaustion…

…if the ego is given Love then it can settle back to it’s original job… keeping our bodies alive long enough to be vital on this plane…

…we are already spirit… when we came into life our spirits *knew* that we could fly… our egos kept us from walking off of the cliffs… it was a physical survival tool … but seemed to gain a life of it’s own… until it became destruction to ourselves and those around us…

…so called “spiritual leaders” that call for the dissolveing of the ego can be seen riding in their Mercedes… and suck up the energy of the ones that follow their guidance…

[opalescent]

@Will wrote:

…if the ego is given Love

… no matter what it does. Thus we have the fullness of the human experience. It is a hall of mirrors both lovely and hideous, and the trick is to see the reflection only of divinity. Perhaps this is the surest path to sanity for any of us?

[Seeker]

Several different articles I’ve read indicate that awareness of the ego is our greatest means for spiritual growth. Supposedly, the ego amplifies areas or weaknesses that the individual needs to work-out and overcome.

Here is a quite profound article about ego-parasites: http://www.wakeupcall2012.com/bigpicture.html

[Seeker]

Although it’s hard to believe that astral parasites, which feed on negativity and further stimulate it, could exist. Thinking about this in relation to vices, like monkey-on-the-back drug addictions, could literally mean they are caused by ego-parasites that trigger urges and thoughts to stimulate and reinforce negative habits. This may sound nuts, but being opposed to control by ego-parasites has been of benefit to me in overriding impulses of doing some negative things.

If they are for real, it sounds like they were introduced along with the veiling of humanity in order to expedite our spiritual growth. Why couldn’t they just have sent out love bugs instead? 😀

[GTTOWNSEND]

Echo , your heartfelt sharing here hits home for me.

If anyone remembers , I posted fairly recently that I was going to be posting some of my channelings here at BoL. Where are they , you might ask? Well , once again Ego distorted what Spirit was trying to tell me. But this time , I am FINALLY catching on! You see , I have ALWAYS had this drive to help others. Even when it was costly to self , or worse , even when that help was not requested. (I know we are One , but you know what I mean). I have always been a loud , obnoxious(but humorous) , fast-talking , faster-thinking , etc. person who just asumed that folks needed me to help them. “You are in a world of shit , and I , the wonderful Greg Townsend , will swoop in , let you know your problems , and even how you should fix them! I am much smarter than you , but I will use that superior intellect only for Good , and believe me , you need some of that help right now! Look at you , my God! Can’t you see the way out of that problem? It’s so simple to me! O.K. , first you ………..”And my “help” for them would begin. Soon , they would see that I was “right” , that by doing what I told them , they got themselves out of their situation.

So now , we have a very artificially happy Greg , who thinks he has helped someone , and we have other people looking up to me to help them. Which really didn’t help them at all. No one really gained anything.

Wow. What a learning experience. I have realized that , well , you all know – we create our own reality , and the Universe presents us with lessons , until we finally “get it.” We must learn to create the best reality possible for ourselves. I was unintentionally putting myself in a postion of authority , which ego loved , but could not see it because I actually thought I was helping!

So , what does all this have to do with this thread?

Ego will stop at nothing to survive. I have openly communicated with un-countable versions of Self , outside of Time , and I know what all these versions feel , because I merged with them. They are afraid! They are afraid that they are alone , that God has deserted them , or perhaps worse , that they are somehow evil and wrong and hate God , so therefore God will never accept them back because of that hatred. Scary stuff , thinking you are all alone , and God is pretty much better off without you and your toxic thoughts. The first step to my healing these aspects of self was to LOVE them! Sounds easy enough , right?

Wrong.

Because these are versions of ME , it’s very difficult to Love a portion of self that really is so alone that it hates God. Hates everything. Hates ITSELF!

That is the key! Self hatred (which there are many degress and levels of , of course)! Now , please do not feel I am being negative here. I am merely sharing what helped me when I was dealing with many similar things as you are , Echo. Hell , I still deal with these versions of self all the “time” (especially when they know it’s inappropriate for them to chime in!) I still wage the battle of sending them Love , and reminding them that they have their timelines , realities , etc. , and I have mine , and we are all in this together! “WE ARE ALL GOING HOME TOGETHER , SELVES! You can raise as much hell as you wish , but I will neither shun you nor agree with your negativity! I will not leave you! Now , WORK WITH ME!” is what I constantly , each waking moment , tell “them” , the other versions of Self.
After many seconds , hours , days , weeks , months of this work , IT IS WORKING!

Hope all this makes some sense.

Love to you , Echo!

Love to YOU ALL! (Excellent responses , you all , by the way!)

[Author]

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