I’m doing better now. It’s the chaos of the unknown that sets me on edge. Not like I’ve been vigilant in my practice of good ethics. It’s also the exploitation of my faults that leaves me feeling hopeless. Would it be better that I relieve myself of everything and convert to a monk? Honestly, is this some test of faith, like college placement testing? Have I really upset something to the extent of receiving such a consequence? Is it some entity that is neither malevolent/benevolent but just likes to watch me squirm? Or is this normal?