Wow, very interesting topic!! May I ask how old you are? I got 21 mid November. You can write me a PM if you don’t want to put it here, of course. (Edit: I have just seen it in your profile.. never mind. ^^)
This is also a topic I’ve been into in the last few months. A little background: I began studying in the last wintersemester, 07/08, but it was the wrong field of study, totally wrong (information science), so I took a holiday semester, moved out in October, and am right now studying Philosophy and Catholic Theology on another university than the first.
When I moved into the dormitory, I was also thinking about my definition of an adult and how much I fit it. I figured there were two ways to define it: Either my own way of defining ‘adult’, and how much I want to live up to that, or my parents’ way. Before going to deep into it, I figured, the best thing would be not to think about this too much – you see, those are role models that come from our society, not from you. I really don’t want to go too deeply into how / how much they put those things into our heads, but this is where it comes from, to a big degree.
Not only society, but also your friends. You see how your friends move out, they tell you how awesome it is, and make you a little jealous, and so you think hey, this could indeed be great, and there you go. Of course this can help you find out who you are and what you want, you can’t find out your own perfect way to live that perfectly suits you without experimenting around. But what I’m trying to say here is that maybe even the term adult was invented by society to draw a big fat line between the child who doesn’t have to care about anything and the working father of a family who.. maybe does nothing but worry about their monthly income and how to feed his beloved children.
So, when I sat in my dorms, wondering how much I fit my own image of an ‘adult’, I figured that I shouldn’t care. What I am always trying to do is follow my instinct, follow the way that pleases me the most, do the things I like the most. Because if you force yourself to do this or that to fit this or that image that you or someone else (parents maybe) have of yourself, this doesn’t please yourself at all but rather puts a lot of pressure on yourself.
So my conclusion would be, if you live after your own idea of yourself, or the highest idea of yourself, you can’t go wrong, and if you don’t care so much about whether you’re an adult now or not, you can truly enjoy the way you are, right now, without having to justify it to yourself. Define your own idea of how you are!
Rofl, all that said, I can still see your interest in having those questions answered. Since I am also more or less in the same situation as you are, I will still answer those question with all that in mind.
1) Drinking/Smoking/Drugs
Oh yeah, guilty. 😆 Except for the drugs part (gladly), I do like to consume those things. I KNOW I shouldn’t, believe me, I KNOW, but … as I said before, I am trying to do what’s pleasing me the most, and in theory I know it’s wrong, but on a party with all my friends … having fun and relaxing and enjoying yourself and others is the premise/goal there, so the thing that wouldn’t be fun for me and would totally be against this would be not to drink. Yeah I know.. it also doesn’t make too much sense to me personally … but I just can’t give it up. Maybe I’m just too young and I am still too much into enjoying my life the most simple way I can.
2) Sex
Hmm.. tough one. I think ‘having sex’ isn’t making you adult. It’s something that adolescent guys do for fun because it’s awesome, and maybe it becomes something like a behaviour from the days of puberty. I would say, longing for a deep and satisfying firendship would be more adult that the desire to have sex with whoever crosses your way. ^^
(By the way, glad to have found another MAD TV fan here. This is one of the best series EVER!! 😆 )
3) Getting your own apartment/flat
I would indeed say that this is important. At a certain age, a person should learn to live on himself. OF COURSE I am still financially dependent on my parents and a credit, but things like buying groceries, keeping your apartement clean, your toilet, your dishes, and so on.. all of this is part of the process of taking responsibility for yourself, and I highly wanted to do so, I wanted to learn how to do this, and by the way, I think this is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I can’t imagine it to be any other way right now, although I’m living in the dorms for only 2 1/2 months now.
For me it was also something like an inner ripening. On a psychological level. I just wanted to grow personally, to become a little more undependent, to make my own day structure, and so on and on.
4) Studying abroad
My personal situation is that my family is living in a rather small village, without any university. ^^ So I had to move to a larger town. When I was studying information science, I had to go 1:12 hour by train, and it .. SUCKED so hard. So I knew, when I was going to try studying again this October, I had to move to the town in order to have a feeling of studying there, belonging there, belonging to the people, having friends there, and so on. I wouldn’t say studying abroad is so important. In fact, I have a very good friend of mine who decided to study in our capital city, which is 4 hours away with the train! I would NEVER do that. I still love my parents, my brother and my whole friends much too much to do so, even for one single semester.
I don’t think studying abroad is necessary at all. Maybe if you do something like… information science. xD When you are going to get a nicely paid job very quick and need to have experience in different countries. But I’m not, so I don’t care. ^^
5) Getting a Job/ Getting your Dream Job
It took me a long time to figure out what my dream joy would be. Right now I think becoming a professor and teaching on a university is my absolute dream. You know what, actually I chose those two subjects of mine because I didn’t find ANY other thing I was interested in as much, and right now I trust ‘fate’ (or rather, all-that-is) that I will get a job. My orignial plan was to become a teacher of the two subjects.
Also if I don’t get a well-paid job, I’m sure there are other ways to be happy. I’m very sure. I can’t say what that would be, because I don’t know what the situation will be. But it’s always more or less your personal responsibility to become happy, and I am willing to rise to a challenge.
Alright, I hope I was of help. xD
Enjoy your times! And never cease to find your own answers. 🙂
